My Life Has Been Complicated…
I was once asked…
“What is the hardest thing about being a mother”?
I told her not being one…
I have given birth to 4 children, 2 with feet on the ground, and 2 who grew their wings. My first child died in a car accident when I was 21. I was the driver. 8 years later, my 4th child died from cancer. So I know grief, and survivor’s guilt. I have had an entire lifetime to learn about my journey with grief.
Losing a child messed me up, losing the 2nd one was brutal.
Then my mother died in my arms from a brain aneurysm.
Socially, for many people these are the anchors. Our sense of balance in life. Our family tree. My mother helped me survive the loss of my children, so in losing her, I lost my lifeline so to speak. I was on my own. I had to make the decision to let her die peacefully in my arms, as she had asked me to do. She had survived the loss of two grandchildren, and watched her daughter spiral thru the pain. She deserved to die in peace. I had to be strong enough to provide that last act of love for her.
As I have grown and healed, I have reached out to help others, both with my grief support website (www.griefbeach.com), and the writing of my books.
My passion is to Empower Grieving Hearts to Heal!
What will empower YOU to jump back into life? To Become Bigger Than Your Pain?
Do you have someone you care about struggling with grief and want to help them?
My books can help you find the way to Heal Your Heart, find peace for your soul, and happiness in your daily life again!
“I felt so very alone through much of my grief, as I lived it pre-internet. I share my story below, wrote over 20 years ago, as a young woman struggling through my grief the only way I knew how. During my second journey with child loss, I personally didn’t know anyone with multiple child loss, I just knew the painful days ahead. Now with the web there is so much support and help to find! We only have to open our eyes and look.” ~Sandy
“Becoming Bigger Than Our Pain”, which was intended for someone who does not have loss to help them understand the emotions of grief. It became an empowering book for those with loss, as it helps them to have the courage to move forwards in their own lives. I give validation to the impact of grief on the whole family.
“Destined to Grow Strong”, was a very difficult book to write, as I tell the whole story of my grief journey. All the ugly details, and how I clawed my way back out of the darkness of grief. I waited to write this book until I had truly become bigger than my own pain.
I am sharing a part of myself with everyone who reads my books. I hope this will bring about a better understanding of the pain and emotions that a family endures in the death of a child or loved one. My family and friends were all a huge part of my healing from Terry’s death, and with their love, I was able to climb out of the darkness of depression, only to fall right back in when Brandon died. His cancer treatment was ugly.
I was once again struggling to become bigger than my own pain.
My struggle included the breakup of my first marriage. Since I was the driver, my own guilt almost destroyed me. My second marriage survived 30 years, but should have ended years before. The death of Brandon from cancer took it’s toll, and although we tried to make it work, we just grew into different people who loved each other. But we no longer liked each other. It took more courage than I thought I had to walk away. I was so afraid I would not be able to recover from another heartbreak, and I was so broken for a long time.
Eventually I found my courage, and I will show you how to get your courage back. With the help of my grown children and dear friends, I rejoined life again. I could not have done this alone.
The way I have worked through my grief was allow happiness back in. I had to learn to take my power back. Our individual power can come and go like the waves in the ocean. When we are overwhelmed in our lives, we feel like we have no power. It’s as if it has gone out with the tide. Finally, I am now walking the shores of Grief Beach, (www.griefbeach.com), with happiness in my soul and daily life. Join me!
I wrote Grief Beach with the help of Kris Voelker as the theme song,
for the grief retreat “Grieving In Plain Sight” I organized in 2010.
It truly is how I define my grief journey.
The pain will always be there, but with MUCH LOVE,
and GREAT COURAGE, we can truly…
BECOME BIGGER THAN OUR PAIN
And learn to live life again in our new tougher skin.